How to talk to your child about sex
Don’t wait until there are concerns to talk to your child about sex and relationships.
Make it normal to talk about sex
You know your child best, so trust your ability to speak to them when the time feels right. Take the opportunity when relevant situations arise naturally such as if a similar story comes up on TV, in the news or if they are talking about one of their friends. This will give your child the all-important message that if they need to ask a question or for help, they can.
Don’t think you will make things worse
Talking about sex does not increase the chance of a young person engaging in sexual activity. Some evidence suggests that talking about sex can actually contribute to young people delaying having sex, because they can make more informed decisions. Young people who have good sex and relationship education are also more likely to use contraception than those who have not. Knowledge is power and young people need to make informed choices with help from reliable sources, such as you.
Young people need to see intimacy and sex as something that is valued and worth talking about
Having these conversations about sex sends them an important message: that it matters.
If your child is at school, talk to staff about what they are teaching about sex education and when
You can then prepare for discussions with your child.
Don’t make assumptions about who your child is attracted to
Also, don’t automatically assume that they know this themselves yet.
Talk about consent
Help your child understand what consent means and how they might know someone is giving consent (or not) through their words, actions or body language. Help your child know what this might look like online, as well as in person.
Get support – you are not alone
You don’t have to do everything by yourself. The experienced advisors on our confidential Stop It Now! helpline (0808 1000 900) can help talk things through. You can stay anonymous and don’t have to give your real name, location or any contact details. If you’re not ready to speak to anyone yet, you can also use our live chat or send a secure email.