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This exercise is designed to help you to identify your personal strengths, the people who give you strength, the things you are proud of and any other strengths that can help you to manage the sexual thoughts which are troubling you.
Here is a list of personal and social skills. The list is quite broad and encompasses a number of smaller or micro skills.
- Perspective taking (putting yourself in another person’s shoes)
- Active listening
- Communicating with others
- Being assertive
- Resolving conflicts
- Problem solving
- Making plans and sticking to them-goal setting
- Learning from my mistakes
- Recognising and managing my emotions
- Dealing with negative feelings
- Expressing myself
- Being empathic (the ability to understand the emotions of another person)
- Ability to relate to other people and develop positive relationships including family, friendships and intimate.
Now answer the following questions:
- Which of the above do you feel you are good at?
- Having identified what you are good at, list your internal strengths (e.g. honesty, sense of hope, concern for others, a sense of fairness, patience, tolerance etc.)
- Identify how these skills and strengths will assist you to manage the sexual thoughts which are troubling you.
- Now that you have highlighted your own skills and strengths identify the people who give you strength: (e.g. family, friends, colleagues, people in the community, professionals etc.)
- Are these people aware of the sexual thoughts that are troubling you?
- Based on your relationship and experience of these people do you think they would be able/willing to support you in your efforts to manage the thoughts of concern to you?
- What support/assistance would you ideally like to receive from these individuals?
- What other support might be available to you? (e.g. helpline, counselling etc.)
- List the things you are proud of (e.g. work, education, training, social, hobbies, any achievements you can take pride in having accomplished, it doesn’t matter how little the accomplishment is – list it here anyway)
- Identify any other strengths (e.g. belief system/religious faith/spirituality).
- How might these help you to manage the sexual thoughts which are troubling you?
Finally list all the positive things about your life and what you would like to achieve in relation to managing the sexual thoughts that are of concern to you.