Start keeping a list of situations where you notice negative thoughts. 

With each of these, identify the associated feelings and behaviours. 

Here is an example: 

Situation – Saying hello to a colleague who doesn’t respond 

Thought- ‘they hate me’
Feeling – rejection
Behaviour – stop talking to them 

Then start thinking of other reasons: 

• They didn’t hear me 
• They were busy and preoccupied 
• They were upset and didn’t want to talk to anyone 

Start to see if you notice any difference in your feelings once you think of alternative reasons. You will probably notice the feelings are more positive. 

Now think about your sexual thoughts and behaviour. Can you identify any feelings and negative thoughts that might contribute to sexual offending? 

An example of this might be: 

Situation: At home alone, wanting to start online dating. 

Thought – I never know what to say to women online. They will judge me, so I can’t be myself.
Feeling – frustration, loneliness, feeling inadequate
Behaviour – chatting with younger people online who say they have similar interests

Thought – It’s easier speaking to young people. They don’t judge me. 
Feeling – happier, excited, more confident 
Behaviour – starting a sexual conversation with a young person