When we engage with people online and form friendships, it is usually around something specific, for example the sexual images of children. It means that a lot of time is then spent focusing on that particular topic, or things related to it, for example other software or security. While the friendships that we form online are very real, they have aspects to them that are very different to those offline.
For some people their online relationships act as a substitute for real world social interaction. The ease, emotional safety and superficial nature of some people’s online relationships, both sexual and non-sexual, are often not as fulfilling as the more rounded experience offered by people’s offline relationships. Their online relationships are often shorter and less ‘real’.
This can be especially true of people’s online sexual relationships. Here the focus can easily become just about sexual thing. For many people this is manageable, but for others the desire for short-term sexual pleasure means that they allow themselves to develop patterns of online sexual behaviour that are damaging to both themselves and others. Many of these activities are legal but others are not. They might include:
- chatting to adults about sex with children online such as sharing fantasies
- chatting to children about sex online
- using smartphones, apps or webcams to encourage children to engage in sexual behaviour
- exposing children to sexual behaviour through smartphones, apps or webcams
- grooming children with the intention of meeting them offline and sexually abusing them
- voyeurism (hidden cameras)
Think about your online relationships and answer the following questions:
Exercise 3: Online and offline relationships
| Online relationships | Offline relationships | |
| Write down how many significant people you have in your online and offline world. | ||
| What good things do I get out of these? | ||
| What gaps are they filling in my life? | ||
| What do these relationships mean to me? | ||
| What do I enjoy about chatting to these people? |
What do you notice about the online and offline relationships?
Are there some things that you would only discuss or do online? Why is this?
How does this make you feel? Do you see your online relationships differently now?
Some of the dangers of online relationships
- You don’t get challenged – talking to like-minded people means that you are unlikely to be challenged in what you say.
- Talking to other people can help you to justify what you’re doing, for example “they’re doing it, so why shouldn’t I?”.
- It might give you the opportunity to do things that in the offline world would make you feel very uncomfortable.
