If you are collecting sexual images of children, then this is always a problem because it is harmful to both you and the children in the images.
Collecting can also become a problem when it starts to negatively impact on the other things in your life, such as:
- You are not giving enough time to friends and family and prefer to spend your time collecting or feel distracted even when you’re with them
- You are unable to build new or sustain existing relationships
- You are unable to concentrate on your job or you are unable to hold down a job
- All of your available money is going on your collecting or you are unable to pay your bills or have debts because of it
- Although you may enjoy collecting, it also makes you feel stressed or worried about it
Let’s take a look at what effect collecting is having on your life, using Exercise 2.
Exercise 3 – Part A
Answer questions 1-4 by rating how positive or negative you feel on a scale of 1-10, with 1 being very negative and 10 being very positive, in each situation.
- How do I feel before I start working on my collection?
- How do I feel while I am working on my collection?
- How do I feel when I have finished my collecting?
- How do I feel if I haven’t collected that day?
Describe these emotions. Clue: if they are positive, examples include happy, excited or calm; if they are negative, examples include frustrated, angry, sad or bored
You might find it easier to look at your answers on a graph so that you can see the change in your feelings. Take a look at the example below and then see if you can plot your own.
So, for this person it is clear to see that they feel in a low mood prior to working on their collection. During the collecting, their mood increases. Afterwards, their mood drops again; this may be due to the guilt of what they have been accessing online, but it also may be due to the fact they are simply not collecting at that time.
The red line represents how they tend to feel on a day they are not collecting. So this graph may suggest that this person works on their collection when they feel low and uses it to perk themselves back up; and on the days they feel OK, they tend not to collect.
But why are they feeling low? Only they will know the answer to this but the module Recognising and dealing with feelings may help explore this.
Exercise 3 – Part B
- How important is it for me to be collecting sexual images of children? Why?
- Why do I keep certain material? Why would I not put certain material in my collection?
- How many hours are spent trying to add to my collection? Is it too many?
- What needs are being met by having these sexual images in my collection? Make a note of the options below that apply to you.
- My collecting makes me feel creative. It gives me a sense of achievement and helps me to feel good about myself. (Creativity)
- My collecting helps me to excel in my job/at work as I feel like I have mastered and perfected the activity. (Excellence at work)
- My collecting feels worthwhile. It’s fun, exciting and can feel like a challenge. (Excellence in play)
- My collecting makes me feel like my life has a purpose. (Spirituality)
- My collecting makes me feel peace and at ease. It makes me feel comfortable. It helps me to escape from difficult feelings. (Inner peace)
- My collecting helps me to look after myself, both physically and emotionally. (Life)
- My collecting has a positive effect on my romantic and familial relationships; both sexually and emotionally. (Relatedness)
- My collecting gives me control in my life. It makes me feel like I can make decisions and I have a say in what I do. (Excellence in Agency)
- My collecting gives me knowledge. It makes me feel like I’m intelligent and that I know things. (Knowledge)
- My collecting makes me feel like I belong to something. I feel like I’m a part of a club or a group. (Community)
- My collecting makes me feel good. I get pleasure from collecting. (Pleasure)
Now you need to decide what you can do in order to meet these needs in a healthier, safer and legal way. We will help you to do just that in the building a good life section, so ensure you make a note of these needs so you can refer to them later.
