Exploring your sexual interest

A person can have different sexual interests that include a wide range of preferences, but there might be one group that holds the strongest appeal. For instance, someone might find themselves interested in male children, male adults, and female adults, with a preference leaning towards adult men. Ask yourself:

which genders and ages are you attracted to?
what characteristics do you find appealing?
are these attractions real-life, online, or fantasies?
how long have you had these attractions?

This can give you insight into your preferences and guide you through the following sections that focus on managing and living with a sexual interest in children.

Can sexual interests change?

There’s an ongoing discussion among professionals and researchers about whether paraphilic interests can change.

Our clinical experience suggests that change is possible for some people. This depends on factors like the nature and strength of a person’s interest, how long they’ve had it, and whether they also have age-appropriate sexual attractions.

For example, people who are also interested in adults might redirect their fantasies away from children toward adults. Take a look at our section on managing fantasy.

Having a sexual interest or preference for children does not automatically lead to harmful actions. Remember: you have control over your behaviour, and you can lead a healthy, safe, and content life.

Coping with stigma

Living with a sexual interest in children often comes with the burden of stigma – negative beliefs that society might have.

This can impact mental well-being. It’s crucial to address and manage stigma to promote a healthier and safer life.

There are two types of stigma: social stigma and self-perceived stigma. Social stigma involves society’s negative perceptions of certain groups, while self-perceived stigma occurs when individuals internalize these negative attitudes, often accompanied by feelings of shame.

Addressing social stigma

Challenging social stigma requires sensitivity, as it involves influencing others’ beliefs. Here are some things that might help.

Educating other people about the difference between sexual interest and harmful actions, if you feel safe and comfortable doing so.
Use accurate terminology, like “a person with a sexual interest in children,” to promote a clearer understanding.
Sharing your experiences of leading a safe and healthy life with this interest to reduce loneliness and showcase positive outcomes.

Recognizing that small efforts to challenge beliefs contribute to broader societal change.

Managing self-perceived stigma

There are lots of ways to combat your own feelings of stigma:

Using positive self-talk to reaffirm your control over your behaviour and to recognise the positive steps you take to manage sexual attractions/thoughts.
Developing coping strategies to navigate guilt and shame, which can be further explored in our related section.
Getting support from trusted individuals or our helpline and chat advisors, who offer non-judgmental assistance.
Avoiding exposure to media that perpetuate stigmatized views to safeguard your emotional well-being, especially online articles or discussions.
Maintaining hope and actively working on a Good Lives Plan, reviewed periodically with our support.

This section aims to guide you through managing your sexual interest and overcoming stigma. By understanding and addressing these challenges, you can build on your strengths and live a healthier life.

Can sexual interests change?

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