It can be very difficult to talk about sex, particularly sexual offences. It’s hard to know how to approach these conversations and who to share with. This section aims to give you the communication skills and insight to help talking to other people about your offending.
Understanding reactions
Understanding how other people might feel can help you anticipate how they might react. Sexual thoughts or behaviours involving children are unexpected and naturally raise numerous questions. For instance, your partner might wonder about your motivations, the consequences for you, how it impacts them, the well-being of any children you have, and the implications for the future. Think about your own emotions of fear and distress. Other people are likely to share these emotions and will also be shocked by finding out about behaviour through you or the police.
People’s reactions might not align with your predictions. Shock could stop people being able to think of questions, while others might have many questions or repeatedly ask the same thing. Tears, anger, and even self-blame are possible responses.
It’s important to tell people that you know you are accountable for your actions and try to listen to them and respect their needs, such as requiring space to process the situation.
Active listening
Communication involves both speaking and listening. To understand other peoples’ emotions, it’s important to ask questions and genuinely listen. This can be tough, especially if they express negativity or intense anger due to your behaviour.
How listening can help
- Understanding of the other person’s perspective.
- Show respect and that you value their thoughts.
- Improve their sense of value and interest in you.
- Improves positivity and encourages future conversations.
Indicators of effective listening
- Body language: nodding and appropriate gestures signal your engagement.
- Verbal responses: offering pertinent comments, sounds, and relevant questions displays active involvement.
- Eye contact: maintaining eye contact shows the speaker they have your attention.
Mastering these communication skills will aid you in navigating challenging conversations surrounding sexual offences and foster a supportive environment for discussions.
