This module is one that many in your position have said they found the most impactful and effective in changing the way they understand what they did to move forward. However, before you start this module, take time to check that you feel ready to do so. This module invites you to understand the child’s experience and the impact of your behaviour. It challenges you to acknowledge the thoughts you had that enabled you to do view what are, essentially, ‘crime scenes’- images of children being sexually abused– for your own needs.  

How did it feel to read that? This module will not be easy and part of moving forward is understanding and accepting the harm your behaviour has caused, but you cannot do this until you are emotionally ready.  

The key to this module being helpful is being able to sit in a more healthy ‘guilt’ rather than overwhelming ‘shame’, and developing compassionate self-talk. You can read more about both of these areas in the modules ‘guilt and shame’ and ‘compassionate self-talk’ in the wellbeing and self-care section of the website. We advise that you work through these modules before continuing with this one.  

Take care to check in with yourself throughout this module and notice if you are feeling guilty as your behaviour was so harmful and this is not who you are as a person, or if you are feeling shame and concluding you are a bad person. If you notice you are slipping into shame, take a break and use one of your self-care strategies, such as speaking to someone who cares about you or calling our helpline. You can return to this module whenever you are ready to.

It’s likely that you will have used justifications to persuade yourself that it is ok to allow yourself to view sexual images of children. 

Justification describes how, when a person encounters a situation in which their behaviour goes against their beliefs, that person tends to justify the behaviour to allow themselves to continue what they are doing. 

At first you might be aware that you are using justifications to let yourself look at illegal images. But your awareness of these justifications might fade over time the more they are used. 

It may be that now, as you have started to acknowledge the harm caused by your behaviour, the justifications you used are shocking and upsetting to you. You cannot understand that you thought this way. Or, it may be that you are not yet aware of the justifications  you used. 

Your justifications prevented you from feeling  distress, but allowed you to continue your behaviour, leading to more distress in the longer term.