Immediate gratification
If you have been masturbating to fantasies about engaging in sexual acts with children, or if you have taken these thoughts further and engaged in sexual offending against children, then you might be wondering why you choose behaviours with such short-term gain when they have such long term negative consequences.
The following list offers some explanations for this:
- Often the long term consequences are less certain (e.g. you might get arrested)
- The consequences can be less intense (compared to instant sexual relief)
- You can think that you care less about the long term impact (at the time and especially if feeling upset/low)
- Moral disengagement – This can take many forms, such as passing responsibility to others (“I wouldn’t think about her if she didn’t dress like that”, “the media is full of sexualised images”), minimising the harm caused (“it’s only a fantasy”, “it’s only touching”), or collective action (“others are doing it”). This moral disengagement therefore allows you to have enjoyment from something while reducing the discomfort you would likely experience if you considered the harm of child sexual abuse.
- The bikini effect which suggests that men are more impulsive after being exposed to ‘sexy’ stimulus, therefore more likely to make rash decisions. This can help explain why some individuals who view legal pornography online allow themselves to progress to viewing child images.
This still might not help you to understand why you started having sexual thoughts of children and certainly does not excuse abusive behaviour; however it can help you understand why you prioritised your immediate needs despite the consequences. It is important that you start to think about how you can reduce the power of instant gratification if this has been a particular problem for you.
