Respond to your inner critic with compassion. We know that our critical thoughts are there to try to protect us from criticism from others, rejection, or pain. They have developed from past experience, particularly early experience. Most people have been treated with a lack of compassion when they were vulnerable at some time, and this is where the critic has developed from. Most people have an inner critic, but it is not something we share with others often. Understand that the critic is trying to help, and while there may be some element of truth in the criticism, you know it is not the whole story. For each negative statement, image or feeling your inner critic expresses, ask yourself these questions: 

• What evidence do I have for this?
• What evidence do I have that this is not the only truth?
• How likely is this to be the case?
• If it concerned someone else what would I think? Am I being critical of myself, and compassionate with others?

Recognise the impact your inner critic has on you and use your compassionate self-talk to deal with negative thoughts and feelings. This might be telling yourself that you have been hurt, anxious or distressed, and do something that soothes you, like taking a bath or contacting a friend. 

 Focus on your strengths and values to help you move forward. Use your caring and compassionate self-talk to remind yourself of things you are good at and that are important to you, and use them to build your life based on your positive values. For example, you may feel ashamed for something you have done, so you can ask yourself why you are feeling bad about your behaviour, which of your values your behaviour has gone against, and then think about things you can do to repair this.

 Reflect on what has contributed to the negative thoughts and feelings. Compassionate self-talk is not about denying that anything is or can go wrong. If something goes wrong then take the time to consider what went wrong in order to avoid future mistakes and look forward more positively.