It is important to recognise that sometimes even if you are following a problem solving approach things do not always go smoothly., iIt can really help to reach out to friends and family for advice and support. Talking through problems can help them feel easier to cope with even if they don’t change the problem. Sometimes overcoming obstacles involves thinking outside the box (or from a new perspective!). An easy way of practising this skill is to do a simple brainstorm, this is where you put down all your ideas relating to something without criticising or finding obstacles to them. Then you can look back and review those that might work and those that aren’t very good.
Then you can look back and review those that might work and those that aren’t very good – some of the ideas above may not be very practical but you may have also found a new and useful way of using toothpaste! The same exercise can be used when you are looking at bigger problems:
Think about the main problems you are facing at the moment, it can help to make a list. You can’t tackle them all in one go so see if you can pick one and use the steps to think about how you can start using a problem solving approach
Now, try a brainstorm with one of your own obstacles and see how you get on – see if the approach helps you come up with new and different ways of dealing with your problem.
Ways to stop avoiding problems (Avoidant Approach)
If the Avoidant Approach has been your usual or common way of dealing with problems, try some of the suggestions below to reduce the likelihood that you will avoid problems in the future:
Start by just noting down what the problem is. Next, make a note of why it’s difficult for you to tackle this problem (is it emotionally overwhelming? Are you unsure what the solution could be? Have you got too many other things on your mind?).
Take one step at a time overcoming some of the hurdles that stop you from dealing with the problems, this could include:
- Use mindfulness exercises to help calm you and your thoughts down.
- Speak to someone who can offer a perspective on how to solve the problem.
- Make a list, prioritising the issues you need to deal with first.
Talk to someone you trust about your problem and be accountable to them. You can even ask them to check in with you to see if you have taken some active steps to solve your problem.
Ways to avoid acting on impulse (Emotional Approach)
Good problem solving involves the ability to stop and think and consider consequences. If you know you are someone who acts impulsively (using the Emotional Approach), then here is a list of approaches that can assist in this and reduce the chance of you acting impulsively.
- Don’t allow other people to pressure you into making a decision
- Don’t panic when faced with a difficult decision- few good decisions are made in haste
- Sleep on it BUT don’t put off important issues for so long that you leave it to the last minute and then don’t have time to consider them
- Check the facts- seek other people’s views but don’t rely on opinions
- Write things down, make lists, notes
- Never sign anything without reading it and read everything at least twice
- Don’t be afraid to say if you are unsure, to clarify your understanding
- Don’t make decisions after taking drinks or drugs
- Count to ten before responding
- Ask yourself how you will feel about the situation/decision next week or next year