It can also be useful to make some changes specifically connected to problematic behaviour. Some examples might include:
Change I want to make | Making it specific – how will I achieve this? | What will be the outcome? |
| Feeling less anxious | I will contact my GP today and make an appointment to discuss what options are available to me | I will feel like I am addressing the problem and being proactive. Long-term, I hope to feel more peaceful and in control. |
| Reduce my pornography use | I will contact my internet provider within the next two days and request that parental controls are put in place, to prevent my access to sexual material | I will spend less time viewing pornography which will allow me to focus on having quality time with my partner, friends and family. This will reduce my feelings of guilt and improve my connections with others. |
If you have people you can talk to about the changes you want to make, it’s a good idea to include them in your plan. It’s helpful to have someone to check in with and keep you on track when you’re making changes. If you can, share your plan with your supporters and ask them to see how you’re doing. They might also give you some advice. For example, if you set a goal to join a new club to make more friends, your supporters might notice that you’re feeling more confident. Hearing their thoughts can help you stay motivated, so don’t hesitate to ask them how you’re doing.
It’s also important to notice your own progress and give yourself a pat on the back. We suggest taking a moment every day or every few days to look at your goals. If you haven’t reached them, think about what made it tough and how you can overcome those challenges. And if you have succeeded, don’t forget to praise yourself and acknowledge your progress. You can keep adding new goals as you achieve your current ones.
If you have any concerns, questions, or would just like to talk about what you are going through, our non-judgemental helpline advisors are here to support you. You can stay anonymous and don’t have to give your real name or any contact details. If you’re not ready to speak to anyone yet, you can also use our live chat or send a secure email.
