When discussing the situation with your partner, remember all the skills we’ve discussed. Your partner can be deeply affected by your actions, and they might have questions. It’s crucial to be honest without sharing graphic details. This helps them understand and decide how they want to proceed in the relationship. It’s better for them to hear about this from you than from the police or other people.
- Give time for processing: understand that partners need time to grasp the situation’s impact
- Monitor how they cope: the arrest can be distressing for them, possibly leading to mental health challenges. Offer support, and if needed, suggest contacting professionals.
- Understand their feelings: partners might experience anger, worry, and anxiety. Be a listening ear and guide them toward trusted individuals if they wish to talk more.
- Help them understand sexual offending: help your partner understand the complexity of the situation by offering information about sexual offending. Refer them to reliable resources or helplines.
Telling children about offending can be tough for parents. Think about these points when speaking to them.
- Address changes clearly: if significant changes occur, children might speculate and make assumptions. Provide a clear explanation to prevent misconceptions.
- Answer the “why” question: children will likely want to know why their parent did what they did. Explain that it’s complex and that even adults struggle to understand. Assure them that their parent is seeking help.
- Embrace their feelings: children will have various emotions about the situation. Give them time to process, encourage communication, and offer another trustworthy adult for them to confide in.
When disclosing convictions to employers, these suggestions might help.
- Be prepared: have a script ready for explaining past offences.
- Know your record: understand your criminal record’s content and how it impacts job applications.
- Check employer policies: understand your potential employer’s policy on hiring individuals with convictions.
- Honesty in interviews: you don’t always need to disclose details on application forms. Instead, confirm you have a conviction and are happy to discuss at interview where you can explain them and the changes you have made in your life.
- Present progress: explain the offence simply, discuss positive changes made since then, and express your commitment to not re-offend.
- Positivity and honesty: stay confident, honest, and true to yourself while discussing the situation.
When disclosing to friends, prioritise their feelings and reactions. These tips might help.
- Choose a neutral location: meet at a neutral place to reduce pressure and discomfort.
- Conversation setup: set up the seating to ensure privacy and comfort.
- Calm and clear: speak calmly and clearly, explaining that you’re about to discuss a difficult topic.
- Agenda: provide a structured discussion agenda for clarity and comfort.
- Offer breaks: recognise the weight of the conversation and take breaks if needed.
- Moderation in details: avoid graphic details that might disturb them.
- Know your limits: share as much as you’re comfortable with, based on your knowledge of them.
- Take responsibility: emphasise that you recognise your offense’s wrongness and take full responsibility.
- Ending respectfully: end by thanking them for listening and acknowledging their choice to stay in touch or not.
If you have any concerns, questions, or would just like to talk about what you are going through, our non-judgemental helpline advisors are here to support you. You can stay anonymous and don’t have to give your real name or any contact details. If you’re not ready to speak to anyone yet, you can also use our live chat or send a secure email.
