Warning signs are the things that alert us and other people that something is wrong or that there this a potential danger or hazard. With regard to sexual offending it includes physical, behavioural and emotional signs in children and adults. Physical warning could be noticing a person has stopped shaving and looking after themselves Behavioural warning signs could be that a person is refusing to leave the house Emotional warning signs could be that a person gets angry very quickly Here is a list of warning signs that a person might recognise in themselves:
  • Experiencing sexual thoughts about children that are difficult to manage
  • Experiencing thoughts that justify sexual behaviour with children
  • Isolating themselves
  • Making excuses to be around children
  • Seeking out the company of children, particularly alone with children
  • Making excuses not to see family/friends
  • Experiencing the urge to go online and view sexual material
  • Masturbating to fantasies about children
  • Engaging in increased masturbation
  • Feeling anxious about their thoughts and feelings
  • Experiencing negative feelings e.g. stress, loneliness, anxiety, depression, angry, hopelessness
  • Not allowing a child sufficient privacy or to make their own decisions on personal matters
  • Insisting on physical affection such as kissing, hugging or wrestling even when the child clearly does not want it
  • Spending most of their spare time with children and having little interest in spending time with people their own age
  • Treating a particular child as a favourite, making them feel ‘special’ compared with others in the family
  • Becoming fixated on a particular child
  • Feeling depressed
  • Feeling sad
  • Feeling lonely
  • Feeling angry
  • Feeling isolated
  • Feeling suicidal
This is not an exhaustive list. The warning signs will be different for everyone so it is important that you consider what your personal warning signs are. There are likely to be other warning signs which are relevant for you. Positive feelings also influence behaviour. It is not always obvious what people are feeling but there can be ‘clues’ based on body language and on what people say and do. It is important that you consider those ‘clues’ so that they can help you manage your thoughts and/or behaviour when needed.

Exercise

Write a list of your physical, behavioural and emotional warning signs and answer the following questions.

  1. What would you do if you recognised these?
  2. Who needs to be aware of these signs?
  3. What might others observe in you that could indicate a warning sign to them?
  4. How might others be able to help you?
  5. What are the benefits of someone in your support network knowing about your problematic behaviour?

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