What are guilt and shame?
Guilt and shame are often talked about as the same emotions but there are some key differences.
- Guilt is the acknowledgement that we have done something wrong, but that behaviour does not define who we are as a person. Someone experiencing guilt is able to recognise their positive qualities and still see themselves in a good light.
- Shame is the belief that we have done something wrong and that makes us a bad person. Someone experiencing shame may not be able to identify their positive qualities or see themselves in a good light.
We’ve worked with thousands of people who have committed sexual offences and have experienced shame. Feeling guilt and shame are normal reactions.
But these emotions can be incredibly difficult to cope with and can lead to feeling overwhelmed and hopeless. This is sometimes referred to as the shame spiral
This module aims to help you recognise if you’re feeling shame and ways you can overcome it so that you can build a positive and offence free life.
Why is it important to manage these emotions?
We can think about guilt as a helpful emotion because it helps us to behave in line with our values and moral code. For example, if we value loyalty but behave in a way that is not loyal to friends or family (such as criticising them behind their back), we might feel guilt. This can then motivate us to be more loyal in the future in line with our values.
But shame is unhelpful, especially if we experience it for a long time. If someone sees themselves as a bad person, they might not see a way out of their situation or feel unable to change their behaviour. This can make them more likely to re-offend and potentially more likely to harm themselves.
