One way to counter the power of instant gratification is to think about how you will feel if you do the behaviour, compared to how you feel if you don’t (e.g. you distract yourself from your sexual urges and instead find a book to read and go for a walk). How would you feel after an hour, a week and a month?
Another is to write a list of the costs (what you lose or may lose from doing the behaviour) and the gains (what you gain or may gain from doing the behaviour). These can also be split into short term and long term costs and gains. The table below shows some examples.
This still might not help you understand why you chose to behave illegally online does not excuse the behaviour. But it can help you understand why you prioritised your short-term needs despite the consequences.
It is important that you start to think about how you can reduce the power of instant gratification if this has been a particular problem for you.
Costs | Gains | ||
Short Term | Long Term | Short Term | Long Term |
| Shame | Lose relationship | Sexual relief | |
| Guilt | Lose job | ||
| Fear | Depression | ||
- Fill out the table above noting your own short term and long term costs and gains.
- Can you identify any long term gains?
Very few people can identify long term gains from their behaviour – this shows how powerful the urge for sexual relief can be in the moment. But it can also show why they want to stop their negative behaviour.
