Self help modules:

Building a good life

People from all over the world tend to want similar things in life in order to feel happy and satisfied. When people are happy with their lives, they’re less likely to get into trouble.

Module chapters

Good Lives Model
The Good Lives Model tells us that everyone needs to feel satisfied in a few different areas of their life to feel good
Beware of obstacles
Sometimes it can be really hard to meet your needs and there can be things that get in the way

Good Lives Model

The Good Lives Model tells us that everyone needs to feel satisfied in a few different areas of their life to feel good.

Sometimes, if we don’t find good, healthy ways to feel satisfied, we might use unhelpful or harmful ways instead.

These might help us feel better in the moment but, over time, these strategies can hurt other people and ourselves.

The model breaks down the states of mind, personal characteristics, activities or experiences that are sought by people and, if achieved, they are likely to increase well-being.

Find out more about each section

It is important that we have activities in our lives that we feel good at. In order to feel good about ourselves, we need to have a sense of achievement. This can also help with our self-esteem. This doesn’t mean actually being ‘the best’ in comparison to others, but feeling that we are doing the best we can in whatever we do.

This can also involve feeling like we have mastered activities and skills-training that are important to us in the workplace. It can include creativity, like being able to create or make new things, come up with new ideas, or be artistic or practical in some way.

This is about how people spend their time and the range of activities in which they are involved. It is important for people to see that all activities are worthwhile and for people to have activities which offer elements of fun, excitement, challenge and achievement. This might involve hobbies, work, and exercise. This is also about achieving a balance of activities, for example, work/life balance.

Whoever we are, it’s important for us to feel like we understand our purpose in life. This could stem from religion but it doesn’t have to. This could be something like ‘being a good friend’, ‘being a good brother/sister’ or contributing to your community in some way.

This is about feeling peaceful and comfortable. It means that we should feel free from difficult feelings, and that we should know how to deal with these feelings if we have them. This also means feeling safe; physically and emotionally.

This is about how we live our lives in terms of our physical health (exercise, diet, feeling comfortable with our appearance) and emotional health (looking after ourselves inside).

This is about having intimate, romantic and familial relationships.

This is about feeling like we can manage and control our lives. The ability to make decisions and feel as though we have a say in our lives is very important. This is also about being able to manage the way we behave and the way we feel, for example, knowing what to do if we have had a bad day. This is also about being able to make decisions and solve everyday problems in life.

This is about having knowledge and understanding so we feel informed about our world, so that we feel we understand what is going on around us. Knowledge can come from life experience, what we learn at school, from books or from the media. It does not mean ‘being clever’, but feeling as though we know what we need to in order to feel alright in the world.

This is about having a sense of belonging and responsibility to the social group we live in. This also includes a sense of fitting in. It is important that we have a group of people where we feel we fit. Belonging might stem from friends, family, colleagues, a religious group or another group of people.

Feeling good in the here and now. This is the ability to anchor ourselves in the moment and have gratitude for what we have, rather than worrying about the past or the future.

We have developed the following Good Lives Plan to help you work out what needs are important to you, how you meet them and set goals for living a healthy life.

Beware of obstacles

Sometimes it can be really hard to meet your needs and there can be things that get in the way.

You might then try to meet your needs through unhelpful ways, particularly if these are things that you have done before, because we often go back to old habits, particularly in times of stress.

Here’s an example

Tony has previously been convicted of internet offences. Tony lives alone and is quite isolated. However, he places great emphasis on social contact/activity which he used to meet through online chat. Tony has decided to meet this need by volunteering to undertake work in a community garden where he would meet a lot of new people.

Continuing with the example of Tony – he may face barriers to meeting his need for connection as his restrictions, due to previous convictions, mean he can’t volunteer in the garden because a lot of young people spend time there. Tony has the potential to relapse into inappropriate use of the Internet in order to meet other people again. However, Tony was aware this might be a problem and had planned ahead so he had a backup plan. He thought that if he was unable to do voluntary work in the garden he would be able to work for the local animal shelter. Tony was able to start walking dogs for the charity and met other volunteers so still got a chance to meet his need for socialising, plus he started doing more exercise so felt healthier.

How do I plan for obstacles?

Some obstacles are easier to overcome than others. To overcome them you might need to get help or support from professionals or specialist organisations (such as counselling to deal with grief or other negative life experiences).

Some obstacles can take a long time and will be hard work to overcome, for example, building self-confidence. But obstacles can be beaten and it is important to keep positive when tackling obstacles. See our problem-solving section for advice on how to overcome obstacles.

If you have any concerns, questions, or would just like to talk about what you are going through, our non-judgemental helpline advisors are here to support you. You can stay anonymous and don’t have to give your real name or any contact details. If you’re not ready to speak to anyone yet, you can also use our live chat or send a secure email.

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Moving forward

Self-help, information and support on how to continue moving forward, disclose your offending and build a fulfilling life.

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Old patterns of behaviour can be returned to, especially at times of stress. This section is all about relapse prevention – how to prevent a relapse, and if you do slip, how to pick yourself up and get building again.

What is relapse?
A relapse is slipping back into former ways of life, after you have built changes for the better
When is relapse more likely
Relapses often happen when you’re experiencing negative thoughts and feelings, for example, boredom, anxiety, depression or loneliness
Warning signs of relapse
Warning signs relating to sexual offending can include physical, behavioural and emotional changes in both adults and children
Exercise: relapse prevention
Write a list of your physical, behavioural and emotional warning signs and answer questions
No going back
The last section might have seemed a bit negative but it’s important to be realistic – those risks and temptations do exist
My relapse prevention plan – reflection
Spend some time identifying your own risk factors so you are aware of what they are and how to manage them

People from all over the world tend to want similar things in life in order to feel happy and satisfied. When people are happy with their lives, they’re less likely to get into trouble.

Good Lives Model
The Good Lives Model tells us that everyone needs to feel satisfied in a few different areas of their life to feel good
Beware of obstacles
Sometimes it can be really hard to meet your needs and there can be things that get in the way

Being conviction of a sexual offence has lots of significant consequences. One of the main outcomes is being involved with the police and the criminal justice system.

Legal consequences of a conviction for a sexual offence in England and Wales
Being conviction of a sexual offence has lots of significant consequences.
Other consequences
There are many other consequences that you need to consider
Dealing with the media
The media don’t publish information about every online child sexual abuse offence but people often tell us they’re worried about it when a loved one is arrested
How to tell people about your sexual offences
It can be very difficult to talk about sex, particularly sexual offences
Talking to different people about sexual offences
When discussing the situation with your partner, remember all the skills we’ve discussed

Problem solving – the process of working through the details of a problem to reach a solution, is a skill which promotes good decision making and encourages confidence and emotional wellbeing.

Problem solving
The process of working through the details of a problem to reach a solution
Overcoming obstacles
Sometimes overcoming obstacles involves thinking outside the box
Reflection: problem solving
Reflect on your confidence level in various areas

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