Self help modules:
The conversations you have with yourself can be destructive or beneficial. They influence how you feel about yourself and how you respond to events in your life. This module helps you recognise negative self-talk and change your inner voice.
What you say to yourself in your mind is called self-talk. Some people have an inner monologue, others think more in pictures or feelings. Any of these, when they are about how you see of feel about yourself, can be considered self-talk. Self-talk can have a impact on your self-esteem and confidence. How you talk to yourself in your mind affects:
We can talk to ourselves in negative and positive ways. We also use different tones of voice that influence how we feel.
Take a minute and think about what you’ve said to yourself today. Was it critical? Or was it kind and helpful? What did the voice sound like? Was it caring? Was it putting you down? How did you feel after you engaged in this inner discussion?
Your thoughts are the source of your emotions and mood. The conversations you have with yourself can be destructive or beneficial. They influence how you feel about yourself and how you respond to events in your life.
You should now be aware that constant critical thinking can lead to low mood, loss of motivation and that it contributes to negative unhealthy behaviour – including in some cases offending.
Here are some methods which can help you to tackle your negative thinking with your compassionate inner voice:
Respond to your inner critic with compassion. We know that our critical thoughts are there to try to protect us from criticism from others, rejection, or pain. They have developed from past experience, particularly early experience. Most people have been treated with a lack of compassion when they were vulnerable at some time, and this is where the critic has developed from. Most people have an inner critic, but it is not something we share with others often. Understand that the critic is trying to help, and while there may be some element of truth in the criticism, you know it is not the whole story. For each negative statement, image or feeling your inner critic expresses, ask yourself these questions:
Recognise the impact your inner critic has on you and use your compassionate self-talk to deal with negative thoughts and feelings. This might be telling yourself that you have been hurt, anxious or distressed, and do something that soothes you, like taking a bath or contacting a friend.
Focus on your strengths and values to help you move forward. Use your caring and compassionate self-talk to remind yourself of things you are good at and that are important to you, and use them to build your life based on your positive values. For example, you may feel ashamed for something you have done, so you can ask yourself why you are feeling bad about your behaviour, which of your values your behaviour has gone against, and then think about things you can do to repair this.
Reflect on what has contributed to the negative thoughts and feelings. Compassionate self-talk is not about denying that anything is or can go wrong. If something goes wrong then take the time to consider what went wrong in order to avoid future mistakes and look forward more positively.
If you know you have to deal with a potentially difficult situation, identify and rehearse some positive compassionate self-talk statements that you can employ before during and after the situation.
For example going on a first date:
This planning can be used in any situation. Think of something you are doing this week that you are worried or nervous about and think of three compassionate self-talk statements you can say to yourself to help prepare yourself positively.
Keep a diary for a week of any negative or critical things you say to yourself.
After a week look back and see what sort of messages you give yourself.
Would you say these things to a friend? We are often harder on ourselves thant others. It’s time to be your new best friend and be kind and compassionate to yourself.
You need to start responding to your inner critic and give your compassionate inner voice more attention.
If you want to discuss anything covered in this module, have struggled with working through the self-help material or just want the opportunity to work through the self-help site with a practitioner to guide you then please call the Stop It Now! Helpline for confidential support from our trained staff.
This module aims to help you focus on looking after yourself so that you are able to undertake any changes needed to address your thoughts and behaviour.
Identify where you are in your readiness to make changes and take initial steps to change harmful behaviours.
The exercises in this module aim to help you get more in tune with your body so that you notice how it is responding in different situations.
This module aims to help you explore and gain understanding of the interaction between thoughts, feelings and behaviours so you can notice inappropriate sexual fantasies and behaviours.
This module helps you to develop strategies to help you deal with difficult thoughts, feelings and behaviours.
The conversations you have with yourself can be destructive or beneficial. They influence how you feel about yourself and how you respond to events in your life. This module helps you recognise negative self-talk and change your inner voice.
The role self-esteem plays in helping create an offence free life.
This module aims to help you recognise if you’re feeling shame and ways you can overcome it so that you can build a positive and offence free life.
Problem solving – the process of working through the details of a problem to reach a solution, is a skill which promotes good decision making and encourages confidence and emotional wellbeing.
Our confidential helpline is free and available to anyone concerned about the safety of children.
Are you aged 18 or over?
Help us understand how warning messages can prevent or stop access to sexual images and videos of children.
The survey is anonymous and takes around 20 minutes.
