Self help modules:
Identify where you are in your readiness to make changes and take initial steps to change harmful behaviours.
I am genuinely grateful for the enormous amount of support and help I have received. Sometimes just to have someone prepared to listen was so gratifying. I was made aware of the victim impact, and I now do not access anything other than day-to-day internet needs and will never return to my past behaviour.
‘Change’ means different things for different people and each person will have different goals when using this guide.
Some people will recognise they need to change harmful behaviours, such as viewing sexual images of children or contact sexual abuse, others will want to change their thinking patterns or fantasies.
For some people, change will mean feeling better or spending less time on inappropriate sexual thoughts.
Working on these problems can be difficult and distressing, as is often the case with personal growth and change. Change happens over time, rather than suddenly. As this process happens, a person’s motivation changes.
Choosing to use this guide is an important first step, and working through it will increase your understanding and awareness. Take one step at a time and don’t rush through the guide. You need to engage in the work and reflect on your life. It has taken a long time to get where you are and change can take time too.
Don’t be hard on yourself if it doesn’t happen overnight. People who struggle with sexual thoughts or behaviour towards children often have feelings of fear, guilt, and shame. This can reduce their self-esteem and hopes for the future.
A framework for discussing the motivation to change is the Stages of Change Model. They outline six stages.
It is important that you recognise that making changes can be hard and so people can easily go back into old habits. There are some practical steps that you can do to make it harder to return to old patterns of behaviour, you can do these while you work through some of the modules that help with longer term changes.
Make a list of three things you can do to immediately reduce your risk of illegal online sexual behaviour, e.g.:
If you identify with the statements in the list then denial could be helping you to keep doing a behaviour that you know is harmful. It is important that you challenge these thoughts if you recognise them.
Has this module raised any further questions for you or made you want to explore any ideas further? What steps do you plan to take to seek out this information?
If you want to discuss anything covered in this module, have struggled with working through the self-help material or just want the opportunity to work through the self-help site with a practitioner to guide you then please call the Stop It Now helpline for confidential support from our trained staff.
This module aims to help you focus on looking after yourself so that you are able to undertake any changes needed to address your thoughts and behaviour.
Identify where you are in your readiness to make changes and take initial steps to change harmful behaviours.
The exercises in this module aim to help you get more in tune with your body so that you notice how it is responding in different situations.
This module aims to help you explore and gain understanding of the interaction between thoughts, feelings and behaviours so you can notice inappropriate sexual fantasies and behaviours.
The conversations you have with yourself can be destructive or beneficial. They influence how you feel about yourself and how you respond to events in your life. This module helps you recognise negative self-talk and change your inner voice.
The role self-esteem plays in helping create an offence free life.
This module aims to help you recognise if you’re feeling shame and ways you can overcome it so that you can build a positive and offence free life.
Problem solving – the process of working through the details of a problem to reach a solution, is a skill which promotes good decision making and encourages confidence and emotional wellbeing.
Our confidential helpline is free and available to anyone concerned about the safety of children.
