It can be hard to understand and explain what specifically started the illegal behaviour. This exercise can help you start putting some pieces of the puzzle together. This exercise is called ‘Making your timeline’. Your timeline is a visual record of how you moved towards illegal behaviour. 

Look at the example below to help you get started. 

In each box, write a short description of an important event in your life. These events should show how your online behaviour changed, eventually leading to your illegal online sexual behaviour. 

We recommend completing your timeline in the following order: 

1. Your current situation (on the far right) 

You should record here whether you are still engaging in behaviour you want to stop? What is the behaviour? Is someone else aware of the behaviour? What does your life look like at the moment? Add your thoughts about work, your family and friends, your mental health and so on. 

2. The first time that you behaved illegally online (highlight this point on the timeline) 

Add notes into the box describing the behaviour. Where did it happen? What was it like for you to engage in that behaviour for the first time? 

3. Your first memory of being sexually aroused, be it with pornography or something else (likely near the far left) 

When did you have your first sexual experiences? When did you first come across sexual material? What were those experiences like for you? What happened next? In what way are they helpful in explaining the box about your first engagement with illegal behaviour? 

4. In between each of the above, write other important events that you think can be seen as signposts in your life for where you broke down a barrier and moved to more risky online behaviour. 

Start adding more boxes with other events in your life that you think are important to telling your story. What sexual/romantic relationships have you had? When have you had difficulties in life and how have you coped with them? What has happened between the first time the illegal behaviour happened and now? How did you get to your current situation? 

Some events may not seem to be obviously related to illegal behaviours. But for some people, experiences like abuse or being bullied in childhood have a long-lasting impact. For example, it may make it difficult for them to speak to peers, develop healthy problem-solving skills or it can impact on their self-esteem. In turn, people may be drawn to the online world and seek connections there. It is important to recognise your own coping styles. Try not to judge yourself for your own experiences and the impact they have had. Remember that recognising them can allow you to get the right support. 

You can add as many boxes as you need. You can take your time with your timeline. This is a big task and you may not make all the links between previous events and your illegal behaviour and current situation now. Some of the other modules can help you identify other important events in your life, or you may remember events later. You can always come back to your timeline, consider this a work in progress.  

Working through your timeline can bring up some difficult memories and feelings. If big issues like own abuse come up for you, consider seeking professional support, for example from a therapist. Take a step back from this exercise if you feel it is too much for you and go back to the Wellbeing and Self-care modules. You can also speak to our Stop It Now helpline and discuss your timeline with one of our supportive and empathic advisors. We are here to help you.